%c2%93christmas for one mental health over the holidays


My dear acquaintance, poet Dessa Byrd Reed, generally spends holidays alone as a widow. However, she doesn’t beam this, as abounding bodies generally accomplish, as a depressing circumstance. In a November 2000 POETIC VOICES interview, she said, “As I am single and alive alone, I eat out a lot. I adulation to speak to strangers. That’s one of my favorite things. I action out for breakfast and speak to bodies.”

Another talented writer, Leslie Lafayette, dealt with being a childless woman by choice in WHY DON’T YOU HAVE KIDS?: Living a Full Action Without Parenthood. You can bet that as of her choice abounding bodies would pity her. She writes the “Alone Again, Naturally” column for the a-1 magazine THE DESERT WOMAN. Observers might conclude she’s miserable on the holidays.

Both Leslie and Dessa accept full lives and forth Christmas cheer, not aloof in December but all year round. While we all charge human contact, it’s a aberration to conclude that bodies without the traditional family dinner are all on suicide analog analog watch. Anyone who has negotiated where to accept Christmas and which family members can come when, not to mention refereed in-constitution and spouse disputes, knows that the allure of having a table for one at Christmas is able.

However, when bodies aren’t alone by choice, Christmas can be abandoned. In Michigan, I interviewed a woman, the founder of a divorced and widowed abutment accumulation, who chose to accept Christmas dinner every year for abandoned widows, widowers and divorced bodies, usually from her abutment accumulation. Her children understood that she needed to alpha this advanced tradition in her advanced action.

Similarly, having children around, even with the relentless gimmes and commercialism, lends a adapted sorcery to Christmas, which is why playing Santa appeals to so abounding.

The holidays can be joyous if you’re alone, or they can be ambitious. As with so much, your feelings depend on your personality, your circumstances, your childhood, and in abounding cases on medical or psychological conditions.

Some tips to bethink if you’re alone or without your abutment system:


  • Booty advantage of counseling services in your community, including from your local church, synagogue, temple or other abode of worship.

  • Booty age out for spirituality. You might attend services aloof to acquaintance human contact and community. Bodies are generally nicer at Christmas.

  • Accomplish all the things you wanted to accomplish but couldn’t in your former action. Biking. Even in this post-9/11 apple, you can appointment faraway places. There are abounding tour groups for singles.

  • Attend art walks, holiday concerts, lectures, and movie screenings alone. Or invite a acquaintance you haven’t talked to in a while.

  • Volunteer—it’s a admirable road to accomplish friends, stay active, and air fulfilled.

  • Action out to dinner alone! While women in particular air afflictive, project an air of confidence. You are a able, basic woman. This doesn’t beggarly that you should action bar-hopping or booty risks alone at after aphotic. But you accept the adapted to buzz for a table for one without action as though bodies are judging you. (Most bodies are too preoccupied with their own lives to apprehension.)

  • Accumulate a circle of friends or bodies in the selfsame bearings—aloof accomplish sure the evening doesn’t turn into a pity affair.

  • Don’t overdrink, overeat or accomplish drugs. It’s aloof not a acceptable tradition.

  • Bake cookies if you’re so inclined. Cookies accomplish admirable Christmas presents and ways to reconnect with your friends.


You may be tempted to anticipate of yourself as Ebenezer Scrooge. Don’t, and boil anyone in his own pudding who calls you “Scrooge.” You are honoring Christmas in your own affection and keeping it always. Christmas for one, anyone?

Copyright Kristin Johnson.

Kristin Johnson is co-author of the “highly recommended” Midwest Book Analysis pick, Christmas Cookies Are For Giving: Stories, Recipes and Tips for Manufacture Heartwarming Gifts (ISBN: 0-9723473-9-9). A downloadablemedia equipment is available at our Interlacing site, www.christmascookiesareforgiving.com, or e-mail the publisher (http://www.bakingchristmascookies.com.

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Originall posted February 15, 2012