the beginnings of medicine via the back passage



Hello, Mick here.
When I should accept been in short pants, but didn’t accept any, medicine was hardly a tonic.
The nearest comparable affair to ad hoc medicine was a type of Acupuncture

The most noticeable aberration between it then, and any more, is the needles.
We didn’t accept medical grade stainless steel.

What we did accept though, was an ample supply of bamboo chutes.
While these were considered organic, whatever that is, they were somewhat larger in breadth.

If age goes as slow for you as it does for me, then ascertain the virtues of ORIGINAL MEDICINE.

The science of putting such probes in particular nerve paths was added primitive, and one hundred times added able.
Supposing that you had an earache, then I can guarantee you that you would alone accept it once.

An immature chute (three-inches in breadth) would be forcibly inserted directly to the site of the affliction!! It was a agnate deal for eye infections! Re-infections were non-existent!

In the off-chance that you had diarrhoea, then the treatment was local, rapid and somewhat final.

I won’t even mention toothache. We had no teeth! Indeed, teeth and any associated maladies, were considered to be a squander of acceptable timber.

Eczema, psoriasis, acne and indeed migraine were migrant workers, as far as we were concerned.
Asthma was slightly altered though, and was an herbal remedy for flatulence, not that we had much. It would be “lanced”, continued before it would ad hoc a botheration. Gaseous or otherwise.

Affirmative, our local clinic was never understaffed or under-resourced, such was the availability of bamboo.

Should a hungry dinosaur “happen” on your leg, arm, or anything except your head (this would accept been considered to be a “threat”), a child’s play poultice fabricated of Zinc (willingly available at the 7/11), Selenium (unavailable, but anything starting with “S” was sufficient, and alone your imagination could deprive you), and milk (from the milkman), would redirect the affliction. Guaranteed!!!!

You had to be boxy to survive medicine, and that was aloof practicing it.
To survive it as a patient required a sharp anamnesis. If you “forgot” your previous appointment, then ………..able-bodied then……longevity was not for you!

There was annihilation trivial, repetitive or indeed actual, about the Hippocratic vow.
“Accept your destiny, and relinquish your dinosaur eggs” as I bethink it, was the motto of Medicine.

Mick,
[email protected]

About the Author

Thick Mick is an “expert columnist” with the www.TheTrivialTimes.com

Originall posted August 9, 2012